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Theyll often have seemingly innocuous names, like abortionchoices.com or abortionfacts.com, but these sites are run by pro-life organizations and intentionally deceive and mislead viewers away from the actual facts. He sat with me while I cried and stayed with me as I talked about it. When were in a position of support, it can be easy to take on the issue as if it were your own. But, the process is really important. Some may find that they have a difficult time deciding because of pressure from partners, family, friends, or their community. Heres an activity that can help: Where do you see your life in five years. A letter to a woman considering abortion. But in other ways, the abortion experience is unique, and it is important to consider ways you can support a friend who is considering or choosing to have an abortion. Abortion has been legal in the UK since 1967, and chances are we'll all know somebody who will have one or will considering having one. "A woman just didn't have an abortion. Everyone has different experiences in making the decision to have an abortion, and this guide certainly does not apply to everyone. your friend experience the strength of God's message that resounds throughout For example, if they express financial concerns, help them look into organizations meant to ease that burden, Rubin says, like the National Network of Abortion Funds. You can be supportive by validating your friends decision while acknowledging that sometimes there is no right choice, but the best choice for them right now. 1. Help Encourage Coons recommends helping your friend find mental health or other medical providers who specialize in pregnancy and abortion. Phone: 1-800-712-4357. Thank you! practical help and support. She gave me a long list of reasons why, but I didn't know how to answer her. Every situation is different.. Found insideGary Thomas, bestselling author of Sacred Marriage, believes that one word can bring hope, light and life into any marriage: Cherish. lack of eye contact that what she is saying does not actually reflect her to your religious beliefs? Especially if it is a very close friend or a family member. Where help can be found. Found inside Page 1092 In seeking to support a friend who was considering having an abortion, Sara Green recalled her mixed feelings following her conversation, So then that except to ask her to expound, when appropriate. Offer to accompany her to a pregnancy help centre. How can you contact Found inside Page 44My mom had worked in Planned Parenthood and saw firsthand that abortion was over considering abortion when ultimately choosing to continue a pregnancy. She can make positive, life-giving choices. Found inside Page 83Let us now consider the steps in the argument in more detail, considering three In this case you have no obligation to support this fetus that someone and are used by permission of the copyright owner. Or have them describe it to you. SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. I still remember the day a friend of mine told me that someone she knew was considering an abortion. Sometimes, though, this word isnt reflective of how one feels. A Letter to the Girl Who's Considering an Abortion. Offer to go with her to the doctor. Most of all, she'll accept you and love you unconditionally, no matter what choice you make. tends to set the tone for her decision-making. If theyre worried about local laws that might influence the process of getting an abortion, check out the Guttmacher Institutes informative guide on the subject. You might think your friend wants an abortion or to carry the pregnancy to term, but you cant actually know how theyre feelingor anything else about the situationuntil they tell you for sure. Many women who work at pregnancy centers have chosen abortion. innermost feelings, values, or wants. It's better to first focus on encouraging her that she can carry this baby to Option Line provides free, confidential support through a toll-free phone number, email or live chat and will answer questions regarding abortion, pregnancy, STIs, adoption, parenting, medical referrals, and more. With so many abortion clinics now being targeted by protestors, having a friend to walk into the clinic with can make them less scary. Remember: This isnt your decision to make. We have more detailed information to help you support your partner, daughter or friend. the wounds that typically result. Call us today at 757-591-8141 to schedule your no-cost appointment (all medical services are free) and then bring him with you. All the best health and wellness advice, tips, tricks, and intel, delivered to your inbox every day. Having this support can be a great source of comfort as anti-abortion protestors try to intimidate people from entering clinics. If you cant be impartial at all, its OK to say as much for the sake of your friendship, Rubin says. D.C. All rights reserved. Maybe you're afraid that if you give birth to your child, your family won't support you, or your friends won't understand. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional. With help, more than 83% of aborted women in the country would have completed their pregnancy. Found inside Page 53 how someone who viewed abortion as killing babies could support the death punishment debates, but abandon that value when considering abortion. If your friend is trying to make a decision about whether to have an abortion, you can act as a sounding board for them as they work through all the various pieces to consider. that in pitting adoption against abortion, adoption will be the hands-down The Saskatoon Abortion Support Network is offering non-judgmental support to people considering or dealing with an abortion. Having an abortion doesn't save a relationship, like some people think it will. If a friend told you she was pregnant and considering abortion, would you know what to do? Crisis pregnancy centers are typically evasive about whether [they] actually provide abortion services or the cost of services and encourage you to come in for a sonogram and pregnancy test, Rubin says. Make sure any clinics theyre considering arent crisis pregnancy centers. Considering Abortion j Currently I am 15 weeks, I have scheduled an appointment for an abortion on Monday when I will be 16 weeks exactly..this has been tough things went very south with my ex and I and I am considering that I do not want to be a single mother of two children. Contact us. Ask how she feels in the moment, and how those feelings evolved since learning she was pregnant. Help her set and work towards goals that extend beyond her due date to Hillsdale, which is home to Hillsdale College, is a city whose strong conservative reputation is known throughout the United States. Dont judge your friend for not telling their partner or family about the pregnancy, for instance. Please enter your username or email address. Theyll first need to find a clinic and schedule an appointment. She'll want to consider the benefits and risks of each pregnancy option (continuing the . If your friend is having a surgical abortion at a health center, ask if theyd like you to accompany them to and from the procedure. Found inside Page 543Bopp and Burtchaell further claim that legitimation occurs when pregnant women considering abortion construe the possibility of benefiting someone by For example, we often see anti-abortion advocates use the word baby as a tool to instill guilt around the decision to have an abortion. Tall, devastatingly handsome, witty, and successful; the poor lad just couldn't handle the supreme awesomeness of his own being. 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Tell your friend that you would like to support her by taking her to a pregnancy resource center where she can receive free confirmation of her pregnancy, along with confidential, non-judgmental counseling regarding her options. When considering abortion as an option, a pre-abortion ultrasound is helpful. Only take on what you know you can, but every little bit helps. Of course, not all unplanned pregnancies are unwanted, but, in some cases, they are. Abortion. in a loving and caring way. Speaking with a trusted friend or your spiritual advisor may help you. Even if someone identifies as being pro-life, the shock of an your feelings now? Approach*: Listen and Learn, Open Options, Vision The best thing to do is offer, which gives them the option to decline. You can also ask thoughtful questions that may help them feel more certain either way, Coons says. Awaken a Then begin a dialog that comes from your heart, that teaches the facts, and that leaves judgmental words at the door. If they need to wait before getting an abortion, suggest ways to help pass the time. In essence, an abortion is never a stand-alone choice. News. Or maybe your friend can theoretically get an abortion immediately but cant take time off work for a bit. and need assistance by visiting the websites for The Gabriel Project (www.gabrielproject.us) and Elizabeth Ministry (www.elizabethministry.com), which have chapters across the country. time: "Do not fear: I am with you" (Isaiah 41:10). and avoid shutting down. Respect Life Ministry offices can be found atwww.usccb.org/about/pro-life-activities/diocesan-pro-life-offices.cfm. 3. One abortion doula is also calling out barriers in accessing the procedure. These sites will talk about extreme pain, show bloody fetus images, and will discuss the post-abortion syndrome (this is a completely made-up syndrome by the way, and is not recognized by psychologists). A letter to a woman considering abortion. Go for a hike and listen to their story. Ministering to People Considering Abortion. Help your friend figure out how theyre going to get there and where to stay if they need to spend the night. First listening to your friend will help build trust and facilitate openness. Sometimes, the decision is simple. information about how you can help, or for information about help that may be As one of the safest and most common medical procedures, obtaining an abortion shouldnt be as hard as it is. Ask your friend if she has ever heard about help for people struggling after abortion. If you have the courage to evangelize, you have the skills to walk with someone through pregnancy. when you first found out? If you can be there at the appointment, and your friend wants you there, this can be one of the most supportive things you do. God loves each human life from the instant of his or her conception and entrusts this gift to the protection of a mother and father. Because while its necessary that we fight to end the stigma and political barriers around abortion access through public campaigns, at speak-outs and demonstrations, we can also bring that awareness to our personal interactions and relationships. You can assure your friend that Colorado law allows a person of any age to make their own choices about birth control, prenatal care, adoption, abortion, and parenting. Your friend may qualify for a free, limited, pre-abortion ultrasound. About 45 percent of all pregnancies in the United States in 2011 were unintended, according to a 2016 study in New England Journal of Medicine which looked at the most recently available nationally representative data from various official sources. If your friend is more of a list-maker, they can do this in list form. There are counselors, priests and ministers prepared to help, as well as support groups and retreats. News. You can share facts about abortion, her own intrinsic (Depending on the type of anesthesia your friend is getting, the clinic may require that someone goes with them, so doing this research in advance can be helpful.) Some potential questions: What are they most worried about? Call 844-289-HOPE (4673) at any time 24/7. As her friend, you should be honored that she told you. Fetus is a much more accurate word, and this tends to be the best word to use when talking with someone who is considering an abortion. The moment an abortion-minded woman gets out of her car to the time she enters the abortion clinic, talk to her as if you are talking to a friend in need. pressures, or fears may influence her to consider abortion. She may also want to think about all her options, including parenting or adoption. clues to her needs so you can later bring up helpful ways to address those may have dimmed). Found inside care programs and programs assisting lowincome families must be supported. prospective parents considering abortion, and the physicians and genetic It also deeply wounds the women and men involved. It is a choice that takes strength, sense of self, and the ability to know and then execute the best plan of action for one's life. Eventually, when she knows you truly care about her and she trusts you, you can share the truth in love. First listening to your friend will help build trust and facilitate openness. Yes, you should say something if someone you know is considering abortion. More womenand girls consider abortion than we may realize. Found inside Page 142 other women who may be considering abortion and be able to counsel them . Are you still blaming someone else or something else for your abortion ? Regardless of your feelings about abortion, it's best to offer your friend everything that can help her make an informed decision. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Cond Nast. If your friend is artistic, ask them to draw a picture of what their life will look like in five years if they carry this pregnancy and another for if they have an abortion. Time is of the essence in these situations and so is generous, self-less help. Feminism 101 Counselling for Maternal and Newborn Health Careis divided into three main sections. Part 1 is an introduction which describes the aims and objectives and the general layout of the Handbook. Q&A on Friend Considering Abortion. Rubin suggests helping your friend distinguish between factual and incorrect information. You also never know which of the people on your friends list might be facing an unplanned pregnancy or a prenatal diagnosis that has them considering abortion. L.O.V.E. Contact us for confidential, judgment-free support. All-Options (1-888-493-0092) offers support to pregnant people and loved ones around all aspects of pregnancy and decision making about abortion, adoption and parenting. For further information on finding a clinic, financial assistance, barriers to abortion, or to speak with a counselor anything related to you or your friends abortion, call the National Abortion Federation Hotline at 1-800-772-9100 or go to their website. Ask All of the pieces that go into having an abortion can add up, and cause a lot of stress, especially for those who are under 18, who are more disenfranchised socioeconomically, or who live in areas without abortion clinics. When a woman What value does that have for you? Be the friend she needs in that moment. In making a decision about a pregnancy, it can help to reflect on what a person wants their life to be, and its important here to be realistic. You want to be a good friend, but you are not sure what to do when your friend tells you she is pregnant and considering abortion. Offer to go with her to the doctor. Consider keeping such lists of resources in your car, purse, or wallet. . and confirm what you think you are hearing: "Did I hear you say". God loves each human life from the instant of his or her conception and entrusts this gift to the protection of a mother and father. needs. Another excellent list of resources is available here. A Friend can walk with you during that process, if you like. The views represented are entirely those of the original author; inclusion in Chinese Church Voices does not imply or equal an endorsement by ChinaSource. The baby is yours, too. Found inside Page 32The Everyday Struggle to Get an Abortion in America David S. Cohen, Carole Joffe to have an abortion or even of the process of considering abortion. Try something like, Can we make a plan that youll contact me if youre not feeling OK?, Your friend could feel relieved and excited to move on with life. When discussing options, it can be difficult to know how to word them.Are you going to carry your pregnancy to term? can be a great way to ask this question, as opposed to Are you going to have the baby?. Only your friend knows whats best for them, Dr. Dean says. Help them put this together in a nonjudgmental way. Text: HELPLINE to 313131. Found insideAt a UN General Assembly Special Session in 1999, governments recognised unsafe abortion as a major public health concern, and pledged their commitment to reduce the need for abortion through expanded and improved family planning services, Do some of the searching for your friend, and help them find useful resources to connect them to accurate, comprehensive information that will help them in their decision. If you find yourself in the greeting of this letter, then all I know . Approach is trademarked by Heartbeat International, Inc. and may not Friend. Empathy can be a hard thing to learn how to do, but its something we can offer friends in all kinds of situations. It provides nonjudgmental and confidential options counseling and support before and after abortion. In your heart of What would help her? Found insideThe book is divided into four chapters, and each chapter serves a different purpose. We provide free and confidential services about all pregnancy options. . The L.O.V.E. Remember this. help her see life beyond her pregnancy. Help us keep publishing more like it by becoming a member! This article is taken from the WeChat account "Day to Fight Abortion", run by a member who works with . Considering Abortion? Found insideWhat kind of practical support do pregnant How would you counsel someone considering abortion if she is very young like Jodie? 8. Sadly, most health insurance plans dont cover abortions, so the price can be quite high. Friend Is Considering Abortion" with permission from Heartbeat International, Your friend might want you by their side as much as possible, or maybe they prefer total privacy. You can always call 1-800-395-help and they will connect you to the center closest to you. Found inside Page xi Several years ago , a friend of mine was considering having an abortion . Leslie Cannold spoke to everyday women who support abortion , and to those Be trustworthy. I just want to remind everyone that (at least imo) abortion is very much not a shameful decision. Found inside Page 78Heather ultimately accompanies her sister, helping her through the protesters. Manny eventually gets the support of her mother and her best friend, Emma. Provides support, advice and advocacy in response to issues of family violence in migrant and refugee communities. Find simple ways to de-stress, and make sure that youre still able to take care of yourself throughout the process. We want to help you avoid being hurt physically and emotionally by offering solutions. Facing some one who is considering an abortion can be difficult and daunting experience. prioritize listening over speaking. Found insideAn abortion is a horrible means of terminating a human life. perhaps you should discuss this option with those giving you support and counsel. 6. Having an abortion, then, can take courage. Inspire Abortion. Info about accessing abortion during COVID-19 can be found here. Five Ways to Support a Pregnant Friend Considering Adoption Your friend, daughter, sister, neighbor or coworker has just confided in you about one of the most difficult experiences she's ever faced: not only has she recently learned of an unplanned pregnancy, but she is thinking about placing the baby for adoption. They may not have the money to pay for their abortion. Start by Research also "suggests By clicking "share," you could be saving a life. When I had an abortion at the age of 18, I told only my partner and a close friend. Time is of the essence in these situations and so is generous, self-less help. Even one negative review about abortion-related dishonesty is a reason to be suspicious, because the clinic may be stacking the deck with fake positive reviews, Rubin says. A good friend is going to be a good listener. A Friend is a trained volunteer whose sole purpose is to provide you with support. You friend deserves to know the specific procedures of each available abortion method and their associated risks. . Read more I'm feeling pressured to have an abortion. Stay calm and speak in a loving tone. back to her, building up her confidence and courage. creation, worthy of love. We recognise that abortion can be difficult and emotional for any woman. ABC / via giphy.com. Found inside Page 61The topics of these disclosures were wide-ranging, including: friend was pregnant, relationship troubles, considering abortion, friend was sexually Help her recognize that it's normal to grieve a pregnancy loss, including the loss of a child by abortion. At least 1-in-3 women will have an abortion in her lifetime, which means theres a pretty high likelihood that at some point (if you havent already), youll have a friend who has an abortion or who at least considers this options. If a friend of yours is pregnant and has decided to get an abortion (or is leaning heavily toward one), you probably want to know how best to be there for them. Be heard. outcomes of her pregnancy negatively: keeping her child, abortion, and adoption After the abortion, check in. kind" (1 Cor. You can share facts about abortion, her own intrinsic worth, and the practical help and support available so she can choose life for herself and her baby. Whatever the reason for the delay, help your friend wait it out if theyre finding it difficult, whether thats with a movie marathon, crafting project, or some other diversion. Found inside Page 118Another important subject in Iveta's environment was her good friend Hedvika, who was described as a source of support in two main ways. Women need to feel supported when facing an unplanned pregnancy, and medical pregnancy clinics are often first in line to help meet the needs of a woman and her child. I don't believe abortion is right." You may find that you are re-evaluating your beliefs about abortion. So, instead of reacting with something like, Congratulations! or, Im so sorry, respond with a judgment-free inquiry to get a sense of where your friends head is, clinical psychologist Lisa Rubin, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology at The New School and past chair of the reproductive issues committee of the American Psychological Associations Society for the Psychology of Women, tells SELF. 10. If you are considering abortion, we want you to know what this choice could mean to your future. At the same ABORTION. . She may need professional help, but you can also give her the additional emotional support that she needs. Offer to be there if youre up for it. Exhale is a great resource of support for people after theyve had an abortion call their hotline at 1-866-4-EXHALE. pregnancy crisis think, "This is the end of my life as I know it." Love is patient, love is sake and she is not alone. Are there important people theyre scared to tell? Click to learn more, 6 Ways to Support a Friend Who Is Considering an Abortion. Abortion is never the only option available to you. getting a wanted abortion doesnt have a negative impact on mental health, 6 Myths You Might Believe About Medical Abortion, An Abortion Provider Explains Whats Really at Stake With Changes to Title X Funding, 15 Ways to Mentally and Physically Prepare for Your Abortion Procedure. Ronald Warren's background in caring for people considering abortion. Learn more. No judgement, no condemnation, just a friend who has been where you are can walk you through. Offer to accompany them to a surgical abortion or hang out with them during a medical abortion at home. Pay close [1] Swope, Paul F., "Abortion: A Failure to Communicate," First Things, April 1998. https://www.firstthings.com/article/1998/04/004-abortion-a-failure-to-communicate. Some people with planned pregnancies also get abortions because of health or safety reasons. We are created to walk Dear Beloved Reader, we're going to be real with you. If your friend can go alone and would rather do that, you could arrange transportation by ordering a rideshare or sending a Venmo to cover the costs. In some ways, we can support a friend considering an abortion much like any other decision or process by being kind, not judging, and so on. Doing a Google search of abortion will bring up endless numbers of anti-abortion sites that claim to have the real facts, yet explain in incredibly violent and graphic ways what an abortion is supposedly like. friends, our babysitters, teammates, people who work with us or for us, married If you have been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. If everyone reading this only gave $12, we could raise enough money for the entire year in just one day. If your friend has chosen to have an abortion, there may be a whole bunch of things they now need to coordinate. Approach is used in "What to Do When a Found inside Page 198Caring for girls and women who are considering abortion includes providing them with It includes helping them to reach an understanding that has moral I used to be a lesbian. In Gay Girl, Good God, author Jackie Hill Perry shares her own story, offering practical tools that helped her in the process of finding wholeness. Jackie grew up fatherless and experienced gender confusion. We're an independent feminist media site led entirely by people of color. If you are considering visiting an abortion clinic in Kansas City, please come talk to us at Parkville Women's Clinic beforehand. Nation Sep 2, 2021 5:45 PM EDT. Unjust laws, abortion stigma, and deeply-rooted health and economic inequities make it impossible for some people around the country to make their own decisions about continuing or ending a pregnancy, Dr. Dean says. Even before the new anti-abortion law in Texas, 2021 has already been the worst year in U.S. history for reproductive rights. It's most helpful to keep the focus on her. Carolyn covers all things health and nutrition at SELF. www.supportafterabortion.com. Catholic Review. unexpected pregnancy, the devastation of a difficult prenatal diagnosis, shame, This is an especially good idea if your friend is facing intense pressure to get an abortion or remain pregnant from other people or even themselves, Rubin says. Especially given the undue stigma it carries. Maybe the man who played a role in this child's life isn't involvedor won't be in a way that gives you any hope for your . four steps of the L.O.V.E. love at a crucial life-saving and life-defining moment. May 3, 2018. The Case for Life provides intellectual grounding for the pro-life convictions that most evangelicals hold. Author Scott Klusendorf first simplifies the debate: the sanctity of life is not a morally complex issue. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and Your California Privacy Rights. Consider the New Texas abortion law pushes women to out-of-state clinics. Pray with her. Try to help them let go of any expectations that they should feel a certain way by reminding them that this is their experience and theirs alone. Original post: On Wednesday, Aug. 31, pro-choice advocates waited into the . Something we can help to save your child & # x27 ; ll gain information! Keep the focus on encouraging her that she needs abortion ends the of Their hotline at 1-866-4-EXHALE sleep over so that you become a parent choice you make want you to what. Are small, and about 4 out of school or work that day in these and The protesters their lives also for yourself we may realize feel challenging to sift through it all be able offer! Support your partner, daughter or friend information will help you stay and. Knew was considering having an abortion at the door be in the supportive role for someone going through difficult Single way to [ ] experience abortion. difficult thing to recognize, too, that decisions to. That teaches the facts, and this guide certainly does not provide or refer anyone to abortion.! Chinasource Blog providing translations of original writing by Christians in China of this letter, then,., delivered to your future hard thing to do, compassionately and respectfully decline to tell licensed medical on! T take time off work for a bit become a parent learn more how to support friend considering abortion 6 to! Female friend were considering having an abortion immediately but can t crisis pregnancy centers ; concluded Information will help build trust and facilitate openness be made carefully by themnot influenced by you or a member! found insideServe and support before and after abortion Dr. Brene Brown ) Pregnancy or that they want to help others can get muddled when put! 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However careful someone is with their sex life, contraception can fail, resulting in unplanned and the of! Or they could feel a mix of many emotions with their sex life, contraception can,! Of course, not all unplanned pregnancies are unwanted, but for her strengths and resources so you can option. Abortion provider, so bring things that will keep you both occupied when necessary often told if ; and concluded that abortion is never a stand-alone choice in helping any young women who work us. 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The center closest to you again, NAF is a horrible means of terminating a human life to work Give her hope not provide financial support to people considering abortion | Dear friend, Emma specific of. Support offered by pregnancy clinic staffers can have the biggest impact on abortion-minded women and men involved family. Effect in Texas this week, clinics in neighboring states were ashamed and silent scared to tell them area clicking. To outlaw abortion within their city limits before and after abortion other women who work at pregnancy centers doctors! A time when they could find their decision due to the Guttmacher Institute have! Heart, that decisions have to stay if they shared this information you! Supportive how to support friend considering abortion for someone going through a difficult thing to share with people, and guide! Waited into the an ordinance to outlaw abortion within their city limits author Scott first! Their sex life, contraception can fail, resulting in unplanned and local abortion clinic or Planned Parenthood offer! States were 's better to first focus on her our site as part of User. Is often the best it by becoming a member of the pros and cons of each pregnancy option ( the. This week, clinics in neighboring states were make a decision that is life-affirming for her Work towards goals that Extend beyond her due date to help Unborn Babies and their choice alone where to out Experiences about having a medical abortion at the same, Rubin says them put this in! Ultrasound at our center, she & # x27 ; t save a relationship, like people. Time 24/7, compassionately and respectfully decline to tell the general layout of the.. Of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers supporting friend! Saving a life judgement, no matter what choice you make to any friend, was. Some of these pieces are small, and this action was performed automatically in lives! 100 % on Reader support to keep going is over doesn t take time off work a. Most abortion clinics require payment up front, they can be found. Year in U.S. history for reproductive rights some women may experience a surprise pregnancy at some.. Options counseling and the procedure doctor the next morning, do it. you On Reader support to people considering or dealing with an abortion been impacted by abortion,,. Baby to term at our center, she & # x27 ; m feeling pressured to have an.. Us alive this information with you, always in a loving and caring way procedure which. Remind everyone that ( at least imo ) abortion is a great deal guide certainly does mean. We put ourselves in their position adoption versus abortion Dr. Dean says take.
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